The 25 Forum

Too Square for SpongeBob?

Denial, thy name is SpongeBob SquarePants. That's right 25'ers. In the grand tradition of "Ren & Stimpy" and the "Power Puff Girls," Nickelodeon's SpongeBob has arrived to administer another periodic Hipster Acid Test. The rules are the same as always: if you dig him, then your diligent resistance of the maturation process has paid you back in spades; if you don't, then you might as well start shopping for that condo in Edgewater or West Bucktown and call up "It's Just Lunch."

Don't fret. As always, 25 is here to help. We have undertaken the onerous task of sitting through hours of episodes so that you don't have to. Instead, we proudly offer a handy quiz in the 20s Questions vein to help you sort SpongeBob out. You will be given ten facts about the cartoon. After each one, decide whether the scenario "sounds cool" or "sounds lame." Keep track of your answers and then check them against our chart. And remember, when you lie to the quiz, you're only lying to yourself.

1. SpongeBob SquarePants is a common household sponge that lives in a pineapple at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean.
2. Although SpongeBob has the classic rectangular cleaning briquette shape, the other sea creatures appear basically in their classic cartoon forms (i.e. with legs when necessary and with fins otherwise), not as their corresponding household incarnations.
3. A squirrel from Texas named Sandy Cheeks also lives at the bottom of the ocean with the aid of a 1950's style dive suit.
4. Sponge Bob works at an underwater fast food restaurant named The Krusty Krab, where his boss's name is Mr. Krabs and where he serves fried crab hamburgers to fish and eels.
5. Although all of the action takes place underwater, the characters are often depicted bathing or making derogatory references to the frequency with which other characters bathe.
6. When not wearing his trademark square pants, SpongeBob is depicted in tighty-whities.
7. In one episode, SpongeBob and his starfish friend Patrick imagine they are buried in an avalanche and then make repeated references to sawing off each other's limbs to escape.
8. In a dream sequence, SpongeBob refers to his neighbor, Squidward Tentacles, as a "jerk."
9. SpongeBob enjoys watching television programs featuring sea sponges undulating lewdly to go-go music, but he's too ashamed to watch in front of his pet snail Gary.
10. Despite being at the bottom of the ocean and inhabited by sea creatures (and the aforementioned squirrel), SpongeBob's town, Bikini Bottom, has a submarine bus service and a public beach for surfing, swimming and sunbathing.

Let's go to the chart.

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